Im .. so tired ..

things,
when stuff inside too long ..
will only hurt more if left growing..
but it will hurt even more ..
if you let it out..
there seem to be like absolutly
no way for me to get better.

The way the table has turn..
has totally changed against me..

its just something that is so simple..
so simple that
its so hard to get hold of it.

day in and day out..
my life felt as thou i was bagging a huge stone upon me..
that slows me down in everything i do..
and the slower it gets..
the more i felt the pressure to catch on ..
but ..
and the more my mind wander off..
into realms which its not suppose to be..

its all my fault..
for not being able to focus on things i shud be..
for having feelings of affection for someone who i shud have..
for seeing every little thing you do, and magnifying it to tink about it..
for my inability to do things better den you..
for my disability to be able to control my own emotions..

im ..
so tired ..
until my emotions got drain until the point where ..
i felt so numb ..
but ..
it took one day ..
for this emotions to come right back to haunt me ..

I dont know how you think about me ..
but i know ..
i will
nv be a person you will look up to..
nv be a person you will come to (when you need someone to talk to)..
mayb .. nv be the one for you ..

I'd tried my best to let go ..
but ..
it hurt as badly as pulling a arrow out of your heart..

i have so much more i'd wanted to keep on typing..
but ..
theres no point to keep it on..
no matter how much i type,
and what i type,
it doesnt change the fact
that i am
a true failure..