i hate me

life is like a uphill slope,
where everyone is moving upwards
and im the only one that is stayin on the same place,
or rather..
i slowly drifting backwards.
and now im having trouble trying to catch up..
i can feel the pressure like
someone pressing on my neck..

and its like everything is crumbling down,
life in a mess,
wanting to slowly make things better
onli to know that time is the thing i don have.

where is anyone when i need them,
or rather..
where is the person who i can truly talk to.
the person who can accept me for wad i am
and tolerant my childishness.
i did try to change,
but my feeling is sth that i have problem controlling,
and i cant stop my mind thinking abt stupid things.

it feels like everyone i know..
starts to feel so much like strangers..
everyone ..
ppl who used to talk almost everything with me,
start ignoring me
ppl who used to have fun with me
start to find other ppl
ppl who used to do work with me
are doing thing in their own way.

i nv wanted things to be like the way it is now..
i truly hate myself..
i hate myself
i nv felt like dying more den ever..