back to sqare one

so much have happened over the past few weeks..
thing have worsen and worsen..
and i dunno wad is going to happen..

leaving the past as the past,
i dont see how that reason
is justifiable for ur actions ..
i see u having lots of fun with ur friends and everything,
and here i am,
desperately try my best to look for you..
and yet ur reason of not approaching me is
"you busy talking to your friend, i dun wan to disturb u"..
wad kind of a reason is it..

so i guess im such a insignificant person in ur life that
doesnt even vouch for a short length of ur time
jus to say a hi?

everyone always talks abt love being everything so great..
but why is it always pain i've felt..

all this that im feeling now..
i find that i ..
have no one left to talk to..
everyone is move on with their life,
and yet im still stuck where i am ..
still so emotionally driven..

i hate myself..
i hate my life
i hate every single bit of myself..
and yet im too cowardly to end it myself ..