all.. alone..

yes..
i've brought things upon myself..
i cared too much..
i think too much..
yes,
im a person lidda..
wad can i do..
since im so irritating,disgusting,wadever not,
u can jolly well leave me alone..
at least now i know ..
who are my true friends...
people whom i can talk to,
abt stuff.
since im so sickening,
so disgusting,
so childish,
so i guess its time i say goodbye..
so much for being "friends"

back to sqare one

so much have happened over the past few weeks..
thing have worsen and worsen..
and i dunno wad is going to happen..

leaving the past as the past,
i dont see how that reason
is justifiable for ur actions ..
i see u having lots of fun with ur friends and everything,
and here i am,
desperately try my best to look for you..
and yet ur reason of not approaching me is
"you busy talking to your friend, i dun wan to disturb u"..
wad kind of a reason is it..

so i guess im such a insignificant person in ur life that
doesnt even vouch for a short length of ur time
jus to say a hi?

everyone always talks abt love being everything so great..
but why is it always pain i've felt..

all this that im feeling now..
i find that i ..
have no one left to talk to..
everyone is move on with their life,
and yet im still stuck where i am ..
still so emotionally driven..

i hate myself..
i hate my life
i hate every single bit of myself..
and yet im too cowardly to end it myself ..

helpless

I couldnt explain
the helplessness,
and worthlessness that im feeling now..
After so much things happening today..
Its actually realli nothing much,
but guess i took it too much..
on sth which has totally nothing to do with nothing..

Im jus another person
that passed by in your life,
struggling to make a difference
but he doesnt realli matter at all..

changed hur?

you said that i've changed..
but have you really look at it carefully?
you said that,
the way i talk have changed,
but when i asked,
you couldnt explain exactly wad is different.
but when i talked to you,
have u noticed the change in urself as well?

I admit that i had a crush on you..
which prolly is the reason why i couldnt think properly as sometimes..
i was alittle overly pushy at the beginning where
u get angry with me.. it got me devastated,
but wad could i do..
i tried to take things slowly one at a time,
i thou it would get better,
but when we actually get to meet each other,
you have to let me see that attitude of yours..
whats with those uninterested one word reply?

I have nothing change from the time u know me,
but it was you who have changed..

disappointment, followed by more disappointment..

Epic failure for the nite deco shoots at orchard.. =(
and everything felt to fall apart..
and someone was telling me abt some people..
who takes comments beyond limits..
i dun understand their mentality..
have it become a show off area,
and you have to shoot everything down
in order to keep the pride of your work?
i will if i must
for i cant work well
with people whom i dont work well with

my Life..

time and over again
one have been assured that certain things are alright.
but when the time came,
everyone just backed off.
Knowing what is suppose to be done,
yet unable to motivate myself enough to keep moving.