#4 - day four

i am greedy..
i wun settle with wad i have
i always want things to be better ..
i always wanted more
and im always jealous of others =(

how much is friendship worth?

how much is ur friendship worth?
frienship sure turn into some cheap stuff
frens turn into enemy
jus becus of $1x.
tsk tsk tsk

it all end ups with dissappointment

it all ends up with utter disappointment

everything makes me feel bad

esp when someone mention sth abt it..

it makes me inferior

=( ..

a fren of mine gave me this

apparently chocolate isnt effective enuff ..

thanks for it anyway ..

school blues

sch start less den 2 weeks
and i need a break real bad..
everythings jus too much for me to handle
oh well..
who cares ..

it not i dun wan to,
its the many rejections i received
and injuries
that make me start to doubt even the closest person to me

wad do i wan?

why am i doing all those things?
why do i seem like im always to disturbed?

i wanted some attention..
i have tears fall out on its own ..
im a realli troubled kid
trap in his own world of pains and sufferings
i wonder how much more i can handle this ..
i will one day collapse and break down ..

and who will be there for me..
my "frens"?
i felt that im all alone ..
like the song "me against the world"

when ppl say " the world has turn against me"
other will tell them "its you who have turn against the world"
but i have nv once turned my back against anyone ..
no one.. but i have ppl turning against me
stabbing me from my back
although i have a few frens who helped me when i have problems..
but i do feel i need more emotional support

Will anyone be there when i cant hold it on anymore..

#3 - day three

i get too carried away by my own emotions
and let it get into my thinking..

and starts to do stupid stuff ..

see no evil ..

after a few days ..
i tot i was feeling better ..
but things start crumbling down once again..
it all hit me in one day ..

so much things..
i dun wan to talk abt it anyway ..
but it jus how my quickly my mood swing
in jus one blink of eye.

sometimes .. mayb not seeing is still the better option =(
my mood turned bad ..
immediately when i saw her ..
not tat i dun like her,
but is that i like her way too much
that it hurts jus looking at her.. =(

#2 - day two

I have "friends"

ya .. "friends"..
ppl who come and goes,
come they need help
goes when i need help.

ppl who i treated well and respected,
turn out to be ppl who are backstabbing me
and treating me like shit.

friend?

aint u ashame of urself?
we're suppose to be frens, remeber?
and wad u are doing..
realli makes me doubt if u are treating me as one..
and i started to feel..
who are those ppl ard me
that are truly called frens?

At least im proud to say
i have a fren who im close to
at least one ,
who i cann truly share my problems with
someone who realli cared ..
although i always kept things to myself ..

需要你的爱

歌曲: 需要你的爱

歌手: 飞儿乐团(F.I.R.)

當你選擇了云的距離
就讓我自私做的決定
沖破天際飛去
排山倒海崩塌的回憶
也許我可以襲擊我的心
痛得不能自己
或許你以為把這一座城市拋開
就可以糾結傷害 卻不明白
我需要你的愛
不管多少阻礙
不求什麼未來
不管命運會怎麼安排
我會用眼淚洗去所有的不堪
狠狠地把心痛了斷
深深地把一切重來
我需要你的愛
像掉進了深海
也像墜落懸崖
找不到地方逃開
別讓那些謊言把愛給活埋
當心碎成一塊一塊
當愛碎曾一斷一斷
我會等待 你的愛
ㄛ~~~
排山倒海崩塌的回憶
也許我可以襲擊我的心
痛得不能自己
或許你以為把這一座城市拋開
就可以糾結傷害
卻不明白
我需要你的愛
不管多少阻礙
不求什麼未來
不管命運會怎麼安排
我會用眼淚洗去所有的不堪
狠狠地把心痛了斷
深深地把一切重來
我需要你的愛
像掉進了深海
也像墜落懸崖
找不到地方逃開
別讓那些謊言把愛給活埋
當心碎成一塊一塊
當愛碎曾一斷一斷
我會等待
我會等待
我會等待
別讓那些謊言
把愛給活埋
當心碎成一塊一塊
當愛碎曾一斷一斷
我會等待

A song from FIR, which brings out wad im feeling now .. at this point
preview this song here.
Support Original, Stop Piracy.

you and me

u told me ..
the farest journey we can walk together with
is friendship
and if i were to cross the boundary
it could break our friendship.

you know how i felt
u understand wad i said,
but as time pass,
i felt we have drifted apart.
u said we were best fren,
but i dun find you when i needed you
you are always together with him
or him or anyone else but me,
and you never fail to rub salt into my wounds ..

i tried to be there for you,
but u always push away my hand.
but i got trapped in my own world
trying to keep myself off the boundary

i dont want to make our relationship
worse den it is now ..

i tried to give u cold shoulders
i tried to do things
to make u be mad at me
all to do is to get ur attention
i know im being childish
and thats probably the reason why we will nv be together

i wanted you too much..
and you wanted freedom much more den ath else ..

#1 - day one

#1 - Im average in everything i do

i nv excel in anything,
things i tot i can do well
i see ppl doing better den me..
not dat i "bu fu qi" ..
but it makes me feel bad ..
when ppl keep praising him/her

i hate myself =(

1 to 1000

it'd be a good idea
to present one reason everyday
of why i am moody..
why i hate my life..
how my life suck ..

from day one to day one thousand

and hope things will get better for me after counting

1 to 1000

frens are wonderful?

went to sushi teh/tei today wif my 4e2 buddy,
but ended up din eat sushi and drink tei,
pretty sad..
but gotten i nice little present
thanks alot..

last but not least to thank to other frens who gave me belated bdae graduation
-Charmaine
-Shiying
-Xiang Ni
-Joan

thanks to all eu guys =)

shattered mirror

relationship is like a piece of mirror
once broken
it will remain scarred forever
no matter how well u can mend it ..

and when i think things will get better.
it get hit rite back down to the bottom ..

wants and needs

all i want is some love from you
all i need is some attention from you

pls love me ..

How abt that?

have it ever occur to eu,
that u are so certain it doesnt concern u,
and keep on pestering for an answer?

you ask me who said wad to me
and i told eu its not the content by the deliver-er that matter
how wud u react
if i told eu
its you that have cos all of this?

have u notice at which point my mood starts to turn drastically?
when i started to give u cold shoulders
i had nv once wanted to disregard you

call me childish or ath
its how i express myself
all i ask of you is to give me sometime
and give it pass

a worthless life

i have a rotten life,
i have nothing good
want money, no money
want look, no look
want talent, no talent
want intelligence, dumb like a freaking retard

its such a worthless life that there no more meaning to sustain it.
end my life ..

What matters and what dont

sometimes,
what matters is not what a person said,
but rather who said wad.
jus a simple sentence,
coming from you, make me felt as worthless as a piece of shit
start to make me think..
Im not as good as anyone.

and two possible outcome usually occur
makes use of this as a moltivation
or
feel like dying.

Im caught somewhere in the middle
but nearer to feel like dying

a man turned unfaithful..

I have turned unfaithful, and has grown used to changing my age every year ..
even thou everything that happened,
i still have my mind flood wif stuff and drown in moodyness..

turned 19ed ..
and this are my wonderful frens who have not forgotten me ..
in respective order ..
-imelda
-chester kang
-ee teng
-linda
-yanling
-nicolas
-zhong han
-qianting
-kai wen
-boon theam
-angeline
-andy
-shiying
-jim
-ber
..
had a nice little party with my frens
althou i was the one being moody thru out the bbq
i'd still like them to know,
im realli thankful for wad u guys have done
and i realli appreciate it..
.
once again .. thank you all

今日が平野綾ちゃん誕生日

Today is 8th of Oct,
Birthday of my Idol，
and
i'd like to dedicate this post to her,
by singing a birthday song to her!

Happy birthday to you~
Happy birthday to you~
Happy birthday to Aya~
Happy birthday to you~

お誕生日おめでとー！！

xiaoHau finds himself back on the track he was a year ago..
i find myself working less harder den i was a year ago..
i fall down the slop..
once again ..
like how i done previous ..
although things has gotten better for me ( i do admit that)
but i have alrdy "outdone" and make my life more miserable.
im so tired of this life ..
is there a reset button? ..
is there no other way out?
i need someone..
to help me ..
hai ..